You can do this by:

• Consistently and correctly practicing safe sex. This means always and correctly using a condom or dental dam for vaginal, anal or oral sex. Condoms are easily available in many places: supermarkets, drug stores, pharmacies, discotheques, on internet, at your local GGD (for free) and many other places. Make sure to check your condoms are reliable by checking that they have a CE mark on the pack, and that the expiry date is still okay.
• If you have unprotected sex, then doing this with one other stable and uninfected person (therefore not having multiple partners, and neither of you having an STI infection).

A very important thing is to have yourself and your partner tested for all STI's including HIV before you engage in unprotected sex. Once you know your status you can make some choices: either go on treatment in time should you be infected, or engage in safe sexual behaviour that keeps you healthy should you not be infected. 

The advice is to avoid unprotected sexual contact with any new sexual partners in the first three months of your relationship. A test can only show for sure whether you or your partner are STI free if done after three months.

• By having unprotected vaginal or anal sexual intercourse (without proper and consistent use of condoms)
• By getting (menstrual) blood or sperm in the mouth during oral sex (there is a small chance of passing HIV infection during oral sex. This can happen when the partner giving oral sex has cuts, wounds abrasions or bruised tissue in the mouth)
• Through blood to blood contact, for instance, in blood transfusions with infected blood, and sharing of sharp objects such as needles, razors and knives
• Through mother to child transmission during delivery or through mother's milk (during breastfeeding)

Yes, STIs can be transmitted during unprotected oral sex. Oral sex is a much lower risk activity than intercourse, but there is still a possibility for transmission. Not using a condom, dental dam, or other barrier puts both partners at risk. The use of condoms (with or without taste) and/or a dental dam will reduce the risk of infection. The complete elimination of transmission of STIs (such as HSV/HPV) during (oral) sex is impossible. There is always a risk. This means that performing and receiving oral sex puts you at risk.

 

You have an increased risk of being exposed to STIs during oral sex in the following situations: you have gum disease, cuts or sores, you've had recent dental work that bruised any tissue in your mouth or you have vigorously brushed or flossed.

The fact that it is best to talk about condoms before having sex does not make it easier. Many people, even those who already have experience with having sex,  can be quite embarrassed by the topic of condoms.

The best time to bring up the topic of condoms is long before you're in a situation where you might need a condom. When people are caught up in the heat of the moment, it might be more difficult to say no or to think logically.

One idea to make speaking about condoms easier is to practice opening lines. Especially if you think your partner will object, work out your response ahead of time. Here are some possibilities:

• Your partner says: "It's uncomfortable."

You might answer this by suggesting a different brand or size.

• Your partner says: "It puts me right out of the mood."

Say that having unsafe sex puts you right out of the mood. Permanently.

• Your partner says: "If we really love each other, we should trust each other."

Say that it's because you love each other so much that you want to be sure you're both safe.

• Your partner says: "Are you nervous about catching something?"

The natural response: "Sometimes people don't even know when they have infections, so it's better to be safe."

• Your partner says: "I won't enjoy sex if we use a condom."

Say you can't enjoy sex unless it's safe.

• Your partner says: "I don't know how to put it on."

This one's easy: "Here, let me show you."

• Try bringing up the topic in a matter-of-fact way. You might mention that you've bought some condoms and checked them out. Offer to bring the unopened condoms along. Or suggest that your partner buy his or her favourite brand (make sure to bring some of yours with you, just to be on the safe side). Offer to try different types of condoms to find which works best for both of you.

• Make it clear that you won't have sex without a condom.

Yes you can. This can for instance happen when pre-cum (fluid that a man's penis produces when he is sexually aroused, before actual sexual intercourse takes place) or sperm gets into the vagina. For instance, during foreplay or when masturbating each other, sperm can get into the vagina through contact with the fingers, sex toys or other contact.