There are many places you can go for confidential and professional information in The Netherlands. These include: Your GP (huisarts), a GGD clinic (these are all over the country), SOA AIDS/Info Helpline (0900  204 2040; 10cts per minute; 24 hours per day; also English spoken), http://www.life2live.nl/ and http://www.soaaids.nl/

The fact that it is best to talk about condoms before having sex does not make it easier. Many people, even those who already have experience with having sex,  can be quite embarrassed by the topic of condoms.

The best time to bring up the topic of condoms is long before you're in a situation where you might need a condom. When people are caught up in the heat of the moment, it might be more difficult to say no or to think logically.

One idea to make speaking about condoms easier is to practice opening lines. Especially if you think your partner will object, work out your response ahead of time. Here are some possibilities:

• Your partner says: "It's uncomfortable."

You might answer this by suggesting a different brand or size.

• Your partner says: "It puts me right out of the mood."

Say that having unsafe sex puts you right out of the mood. Permanently.

• Your partner says: "If we really love each other, we should trust each other."

Say that it's because you love each other so much that you want to be sure you're both safe.

• Your partner says: "Are you nervous about catching something?"

The natural response: "Sometimes people don't even know when they have infections, so it's better to be safe."

• Your partner says: "I won't enjoy sex if we use a condom."

Say you can't enjoy sex unless it's safe.

• Your partner says: "I don't know how to put it on."

This one's easy: "Here, let me show you."

• Try bringing up the topic in a matter-of-fact way. You might mention that you've bought some condoms and checked them out. Offer to bring the unopened condoms along. Or suggest that your partner buy his or her favourite brand (make sure to bring some of yours with you, just to be on the safe side). Offer to try different types of condoms to find which works best for both of you.

• Make it clear that you won't have sex without a condom.

Firstly it is very wise that you and/or your partner have taken the HIV or other STI test. Now you are informed and can make some choices. If one and not both of you have tested, then let the untested partner also get tested.

Once you know your status you should get yourself on treatment as soon as possible to avoid further complications, and further infection of others. If you are pregnant it is also very important to get on treatment as your unborn child could also get infected, or worse still die before or after birth.

Is your partner not informed about your infection, let him/her know so that he/she too can get tested and get treatment and/or advise on how to stay healthy. GGDs and other health providers can inform your sexual partners for you should you not want to do it yourself. This can also be done anonymously should you so wish.

If you go on HIV medication, the doctor will advice you on what foods to eat, which medication(s) should be taking before or after meals, and which foods to avoid. Some medications should be taken after eating fatty foods, some with a lot of water and so on. It is important to follow the doctors instructions in order for the HIV medication to work properly, and in order to avoid the virus from developing resistance to particular medication.